Against fre­quent efforts to dis­miss objects as fan­tasies assem­bled by humans from a pre-giv­en sur­face of expe­ri­enced con­tents, I con­tend that real­i­ty is object-ori­ent­ed. Real­i­ty is made up of noth­ing but sub­stances — and they are weird sub­stances with a taste of the uncan­ny about them, rather than stiff blocks of sim­plis­tic phys­i­cal matter.